Silly Boy Pt 2
One day I will meet someone who I write beautiful literature about. I will be able to write a book about all the cute things he does to me. Until then, heres another letter I wrote to that Silly Boy.
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Silly Boy,
It’s been radio silence for weeks now.
I’ve accepted you don’t need me the same way I crave you.
I sat and waited. I got your favorites at my house. Your beer and your favorite snacks pepper my cabinets. Seeing “your” stuff next to mine brought peace of mind. You were with me even when you weren’t.
When my family came over, prying stares were shot at me. Eyebrows were raised. The questions stuck on the tip of their tongues.
Who did you buy beer for? Who was here? Who it is? WHO?
Their questions went unanswered. How could I explain the delicate relationship we share? It isn’t something I can explain. I don’t even understand it.
We were our own story. One I wasn’t ready to share with anyone.
It was ours…
It was if the weather could feel my inner turmoil. The leaves started to change. The weather turned chilly.
Slowly, I started drinking the beer and eating the snacks. They weren’t yours anymore. They were just random items in my cabinets that I didn’t really need…
Now, I sit in my favorite chair staring at the spot you sat in when you were over. A blanket of sadness wraps around me, reminding me you aren’t there to make me smile. A shadow from the candle dances across the room in a small dance.
My phone dings brightening the room for the first time in a while.
I unravel from my cocoon. Thoughts of you dancing across my mind – mimicking the candle’s shadows.
Silly Boy: Miss You.
Damn.
I’m trying to convince myself you don’t know what you’re doing. You didn’t mean to leave me drowning in hope and happiness. You didn’t mean to wait for almost two months before sending me some shitty text.
You didn’t mean to.
My head knows this is a ton of shit. It knows I should cut you out, forget you, and pretend you don’t exist anymore. It knows I deserve better than a fuck-boy who leads me on only to eventually shatter me.
My head knows this.
My heart? My heart is soaring from those two words.
He’s thinking of me.
He texted me.
He misses me.
My head and my heart are at odds. One knows you are bad news. The other craves you like an addict craves crack.
I sit for a solid five minutes pretending to debate if I should reply. But we both know.
Never been able to quit you, Silly Boy. Won’t be able to stop now.
Yours Always,
ReeseLynn
