Clouds of Negativity
The month of November has been one of the worst for me.
One of the men who helped raise me passed away from an aggressive form of cancer, my doctor told me there is absolutely zero chance of me ever conceiving a child, my truck needs $3000 worth of repairs, my great-grandmother is showing early signs of dementia, and my bank account is on empty.
However, in the cloud of negativity that is November, I have seen some flutters of happiness....
Two people that I adore are getting married, my report card will show only the best marks this semester, my professors decided to NOT give us finals, break is growing closer, my sister told I'm "hip", and my dogs are finally rid of fleas.
With my depression, I find it helps to allow myself three hours a day to wollow in self-pity. This way, I am able to either look forward to the wallowing because of 1. I need a good wallowing, or 2. I need to get it over with to move on with my day.
Its important to always look for the flutters of happiness when surrounded by clouds of negativity.
For...
When the clouds are too heavy, threatening to suffocate where you stand.
For...
When they whisper that the universe will be better without you.
For...
When the clouds blacken every aspect of your life
Remember.....
Somewhere, someone saw you today and thought you were beautiful.
Remember.....
Somewhere, a butterfly just broke out of its cocoon anew.
Remember.....
Somewhere, a baby just giggled for the first time.
Remember.....
Somewhere, someone needs you as much as you need them.
Look for those flutters of happiness when surrounded by clouds of negativity, then the clouds suddenly disappear leaving you with bursts of sunshine and happiness.
age 22
